GETTING PUNKED SINCE 1837.
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Remember your history. There was a little thing that happened in San Fransisco a hundred years ago called The Great Earthquake. 4 days before the quake struck somebody put one of the first (maybe the first) 35mm movie camera on a cable car and shot film for seven minutes straight down Market Street toward The clock tower at the Embarcadero wharf. It is stunning. There are lots of cable cars, horses, horse drawn wagons, automobiles, bicycles, men, women and children going in all directions with next to no evidence of organization. There are no traffic control devices or police directing traffic. Every once in a while you see people dodging cars. Cars cut in front of trolleys, people cut in front of everything, kids running back and forth in front of the trolleys and hanging from the backs of cars. The cable cars of course never stop, you just step up and get on. If you are really in hurry running will get you there about as fast as anything else on the street. The film was sent by rail to New York City for processing so it survived the Earthquake. Absolutely amazing. You are looking back in time over 100 years. A friend of mine sent this and I am grateful for him thinking of me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=NINOxRxze9k
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Beware my pretties. April Fool's Day is near. While more kids than adults will actually prank someone but adults can really pull off the great ones. Several Radio and TV stations have pulled some doozies over the years and the following is just a small part of the list.

* In 1962, Swedish TV did a short special on how one could get color TV by placing a nylon stocking in front of the TV.

* In 1957 BBC reported a bumper spaghetti harvest from Italy's Spaghetti trees.

* In 2008, the BBC reported on a newly discovered colony of flying penguins.

* In 1998, local WAAF shock jocks reported that Boston mayor Thomas Menino had been killed in a car accident. Menino was on a flight at the time and could not be reached. They got fired.

* In New Zealand a radio station enlisted the help of the Prime Minister to inform the entire country that cellphones were to be banned in New Zealand.

* In 1998, Burger King ran an ad saying that people could get a Whopper for left-handed people whose condiments were designed to drip out of the right side.

* In 1996, Taco Bell announced that they had purchased the Liberty Bell to "reduce the country's debt" and renamed it the "Taco Liberty Bell." When asked about the sale the White House press secretary replied tongue-in-cheek that the Lincoln Memorial had also been sold and would henceforth be known as the Lincoln Mercury Memorial.

* The Dutch TV news reported that the Tower of Pisa had fallen over.

* Every year NPR does a news story on April 1. In 2008 it reported that the IRS, to assure rebate checks were actually spent, was shipping consumer products instead of checks. It also runs false sponsor mentions, such as "Support for NPR comes from the Soylent Corporation, manufacturing protein-rich food products in a variety of colors. Soylent Green is People."

* Wikipedia claimed President George Washington invented instant coffee.

* Bill Gates has been assassinated

* The mummified remains of a fairy were found (and sold for over $200 on Ebay).

* Sports Illustrated said a Mets pitcher had a 168 MPH fast ball (100 MPH is blazing).

* The Space Shuttle was diverted from Edwards AFB to a small California airport.

* MIT was sold to Disney for $6.9 Billion dollars.

* In Copenhagen the news showed a subway car sticking up through the street.

* A UFO landed in London.

Wacky, wacky, wacky!

There is a list of the top 100 (no I do not know who picked them) April Fool's Jokes of all time at:
http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/hoax/aprilfool/

Here is a list of 24 songs with the word 'FOOL' in the title:
http://www.minnpost.com/listingslightly/2010/03/26/16920/a_foolish_endeavor_check_out_24_hours_of_april_fools_songs

About 60% of all management has a stick up their collective butts and do not like April Fool's jokes. So if you are planning something, be careful or have a good alibi (i.e. it was a reaction to some medication).

If you are into visual trickery there is a form of art called trompe l'oeil. This is where the artist creates a painting so perfect that the viewer will think it is a 3 dimensional object instead of the flat painting that it is. Some of the greatest examples of modern and hundreds of years old trompe l'oeil are at:
http://mediagallery.usatoday.com/A-trick-of-the-eye/Mana-Nalu-Mural-Project/S91649

This stuff is wicked, cool. Make sure you read the captions so you realize what is going on.

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Alska's ex-capital Sitka claims its own “pet” volcano. The dormant, Mount Edgecumbe rises 3,200 feet above Sitka.

One day terrified Sitka residents spilled out of their homes to gaze up at Mount Edgecumbe — the crater was spewing thick black smoke. Phones at the radio and police stations were ringing off the hook.

The smoke turned out to be the work of Porky Bickar, Sitka’s legendary prankster. Bickar had arranged for a local chopper to drop 210 old tires and assorted smoke bombs into the crater. Porky soaked the pile with diesel fuel and lit it up.

Alaska Airlines Vice President heard about Mount Edgecumbe’s activity, and instructed his pilots to fly over the crater to give passengers a bird’s eye view. The Associated Press carried the news worldwide.

Porky had notified the FAA and local police ahead of time, but forgot to alert the Coast Guard. The regional Coast Guard commander sent a cutter to investigate, and then ordered a helicopter to take a closer look. The chopper pilot radioed back that all he saw was burning tires … and “April Fool” painted in the snow.

The Legal Stuff - Lone Pine Productions grants blanket permission to reproduce, in part or whole, the content of this press release, subject only to minimal mention of the source, which is the new book Strange But True America (Lone Pine Productions), available in many bookstores and online at www.StrangeTrueUS.com
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Do you need a special ICON so you can create the prefect desktop? Well basically you have 4 options. You can:

1. Google the web for collections or check your Internet temporary files for icons and download them. I did and I have a collection of almost 30,000 icons. The number of icons out there is insane.

2. Draw them yourself. I have a collection of 400 icons I drew, about 300 butterflies and a bunch of other stuff. Of course if you can't draw this option sucks.

3. Pay somebody to draw it for you. Yeah on my budget.

4. Goto the following website and let the eight sites it describes find you an icon.
http://www.makeuseof.com/tag/8-icon-search-engines-perfect-graphic-symbol/
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Since the infamous Watergate Scandal the suffice 'gate' has been applied to many, many scandals. If you want to torture yourself with a really big list of them goto:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_scandals_with_%22-gate%22_suffix
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Now to the reasons to be happy this week
(or at least civil).
Here goes:

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monday 29 march
***The Official NoButtonButton*************
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*** It is a very sad thing that nowadays
*** there is so little useless information.
***
*** - Oscar Wilde
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birthdays:
1668 - Captain Thomas Coram was a philanthropist who created the London Foundling Hospital to look after unwanted children in Lamb's Conduit Fields, Bloomsbury. It is said to be the world's first incorporated charity. It lives on today.

1888 - Enea Bossi was an Italian-American aerospace engineer and aviation pioneer. He is best-known for designing the Budd BB-1 Pioneer, the first stainless steel aircraft.

The Budd BB-1 Pioneer was an experimental 1930s US flying boat. Its framework was constructed entirely of stainless steel, showcasing Budd's patented method of welding stainless steel. The plane was built by Budd (a large metal fabricator) as a research project led by Enea Bossi.

1917 – Man o' War, American thoroughbred racehorse.

1918 – Sam Walton, American businessman. Remember when Sam was alive? All Walmart's ads boasted about made in the USA. Now all they care about is price. I do not think Sam would be happy.

1937 – Billy Carter, brother of Jimmy Carter. Proof that no matter how good part of the family is there is always room for a goof ball. Billy Beer was not that good either.

events:
1638 – Swedish colonists establish the first settlement in Delaware, naming it New Sweden.

1806 – Construction is authorized of the Great National Pike, A.K.A. the Cumberland Road, the National Road or US Route 40, becoming the first US federal highway. Today it goes from Washington DC to St. Louis.

1867 – Queen Victoria gives Royal Assent to the British North America Act which establishes the Dominion of Canada on July 1.

1882 – The Knights of Columbus are established by a Irish American Priest.

In the late 19th century, Catholics were often excluded from labor unions and other organizations that provided social services (in particular Life Insurance). In addition, Catholics were either barred from many of the popular fraternal organizations, or, as in the case of Freemasonry, forbidden from joining by the Catholic Church itself. Father McGivney wished to provide them an alternative. He also believed that Catholicism and fraternalism were not incompatible and wished to found a society that would encourage men to be proud of their American-Catholic heritage. The organization has since helped protect families and raised the image of Irish American Catholics and later of all Catholics.

In 2008, the Order gave over $144,000,000 USD directly to charity ($1.1 billion in contributions over the last 10 years), performed over 68,600,000 man hours of voluntary service and gave over 393,000 pints of blood. Good job guys.

1886 – Dr. John Pemberton brews the first batch of Coca-Cola in a backyard in Atlanta, Georgia. The USDA and FDA and local Health Inspectors would have him shot through the lungs if he tried to sell something he stirred up in his back yard today. He used a wash tub and a wooden paddle. Luckily it seems that Coke's acidity kills just about all bad stuff that it comes in contact with.

1911 – The M1911 .45 ACP pistol became the official U.S. Army side arm. And they are still around today. Old ones, brand new ones and very expensive custom built ones. Over 2,000,000 have been built so far and who knows about the number of knock offs there are.

If you became a General in the US Army(1972-1984). You could ask to be issued a variant of the M1911. It is basically a polished (inside and out) and partially brass finished M1911 but it is called "General Officer Model". Oh and there is a brass plate inlaid in the wood grips that will have your name engraved on it. When you retire you can buy your weapon for $497. Since there were only 650 of these (that I have heard of) and most of those are in family collections or museums these things cost over $5,000 if you can even find one.

holidays:
Alchemy Day - You manage to make something out of the nothing your boss gives you each day so you should be able to figure out how to turn lead into gold.



Swedish Colonial Day (Delaware) - They have been here for 372 years.



National Lemon Chiffon Cake Day - Put your yellow Chiffon dress on and eat your Lemon Chiffon Cake?? How are a cake and an almost transparent material related? You sure can't see through the cake.

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tuesday 30 march
***The Official NoButtonButton*************
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*** You can keep the dining room clean
*** by eating in the kitchen.
***
*** - P.J. O'Rourke
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birthdays:
1853 - Vincent van Gogh, Dutch painter. Brilliant Artist and a loon.

1905 - Albert Pierrepoint - He killed about 600 people (well technically they were executed but I am sure they don't care what I call it now). He was the chief English executioner for many years. How much do you get for an execution? £15. His day job was working in his wife's Sweet Shop until they saved enough money to buy a Pub. You can't even make a living killing people. When I was in the Army I got paid $200 a month whether I killed anyone or not. (The following remark was made in a stage whisper) I have to wear a hard hat to keep big chunks of Irony from falling on my head.

1937 - Warren Beatty, American actor, director, writer and producer. Oh yes he had sex with so many women that the Weekly World News was offering $50 each for women to tell her story and they got so many they went out of business, in 2007. He is the only person to be nominated for an Oscar for Best Picture, Best Actor, Best Director and Best Writing, for the same movie and he 'has done that twice, for 'Reds' and 'Heaven Can Wait'.

I hear all the women that Warren Beatty has had sex with are forming an organization and the New York City chapter is going to carry a Giant Inflated Balloon (labeled EGO) in the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade.

events:
1822 - Florida Territory created in the United States. A month later the Bergmanns sold their deli in New York and got a condo in South Beach (You do understand sarcasm, don't you?).

1842 - Anesthesia is used for the first time in an operation by Dr. Crawford Long. And I don't mean a mallet up side the head. Now one of the common uses of anesthesia is recreational. Buuuuzzzzzzz I want to get sedated.

1858 - Hymen Lipman patents a pencil with an attached eraser. He needed to make the eraser bigger and the pencil shorter so you would run out of lead and eraser at the same time. Oh course for some people no amount of eraser is enough.

1867 - Alaska is purchased for $7.2 million, about 2 cent/acre, by Secretary of State William H. Seward. The news media call this Seward's Folly. In 2005 Alaska's Gross State Product was just shy of 40 BILLION dollars (7th highest in the US). Their median income is over 64 THOUSAND dollars a year (4th highest in the US). Finally the population density is about 1 person per square mile (lowest in the US). Because of the odd shape, if you laid Alaska on a map of the 48 states, the extreme eastern point would be a couple of miles from Savannah, Georgia and the extreme western end (the Aleutian Islands) would be about 100 miles from San Fransisco. Point Barrow would be about 50 miles from Canada (in Wisconsin) and the Aleutians would sweep down across the Texas Pan Handle and follow the Southern border of New Mexico, Arizona and California.

holidays:
Doctor's Day - Do your doctor a favor and don't eat an apple today.

Festival of Reality Fabrication - Reminds me of a Sisters of Mercy song that goes: "I don't exist when you don't see me, I not here when you are gone."

National Badminton Day - Badminton is good exercise and the racquet can also be used on bats.

"I Am in Control" Day - If you have to say this you probably are not.

Limited Liability Day - It isn't my fault even though my hand is in your pocket and your pocket is in your kitchen where you are standing and you have money missing.

National Hot Dog Day - Random food day.

Take A Walk In the Park Day - Watch out where the Huskies go... Yeah and geese.

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wednesday 31 march
***The Official NoButtonButton*************
***
*** Every Picture Smurfs a Story
***
*** - Papa Smurf
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birthdays:
1916 - Lucille Bliss - Who? Well she is now 94 and still around. You don't know who she is but you have almost certainly heard her. She had voice parts in Disney's Cinderella and 101 Dalmatians. She was the voice of Crusader Rabbit and even more well known as Smurfette, which she did for 8 years. She also had a part in Nickelodeon's Invader ZIM (Ms. Bitters). I find it amazing that she started doing the voice of the coquettish Smurfette when she was 66. Heck I won't be 60 until July and I think it is hard to talk to anyone under 25 let alone talk to entertain children.

There is a Smurf movie in the works and Smurfette is rumored to played by Katy Perry. The same Katy Perry that sang 'I Kissed a Girl'and 'Waking Up in Vegas'. There is an irony about those songs, both of her parents are pastors and she was not allowed to listen to anything but gospel music. Now she is singing about liking to kiss girls and waking up hung over in Las Vegas (well she runs men down a lot as well). This should be a lesson to parents. Kids are going to find their own way and there is not much you can do about it. Some will stay, some will go and sometimes girls kiss girls and boys kiss boys, sometimes they mean it, sometimes they are just trying to find out who they are. Don't panic, deal with it, it happens.

The songs are actually pretty good.

I Kissed a Girl
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLt5n0auPwM

Waking Up in Vegas
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-pUaogoX5o

Hot N Cold
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X75mry1LcFg

1943 – Christopher Walken - one of the truly unusual actors. He has played every part from psycho killer to buffoon. From 'The Deer Hunter' and 'Pulp Fiction' to 'Wayne's World 2' and 'Hairspray'. His films have grossed almost two billion dollars in the US alone. One of my favorites is his early movie called 'Dogs of War'. He plays a Mercenary who is paid to organize a coup in a small African nation. It is a bit slow in the beginning but the pace picks up to a frantic pace at the end. As the mercs are getting out of town Christopher Walken has a thousand yard stare that makes it look like his soul has been sucked out.

1948 – Rhea Perlman, American actress. Most notable for the 4 Emmys she won (nominated 10 times) for playing Carla Tortelli on Taxi. If you want to see more of her vast array of acting parts then goto:
http://www.filmreference.com/film/76/Rhea-Perlman.html

events:
1889 – The Eiffel Tower is inaugurated.

1906 – The Intercollegiate Athletic Association of the United States (later National Collegiate Athletic Association) is established to set rules for amateur sports in the United States. Everybody wants to make rules.

1909 – Construction begins on the RMS Titanic.

1912 – Construction is completed on the RMS Titanic. The ship sinks just 15 days later.

1917 – The United States takes possession of the Danish West Indies after paying $25 million to Denmark, and renames the territory the United States Virgin Islands.

1951 – Remington Rand delivers the first UNIVAC I computer to the United States Census Bureau. At the time one expert thought there would only be a demand for about 10 computers, world wide. Today I am sitting within 6 feet of 6 computers, well 7 if you count my smart phone, which with all its apps, you really should. It is probably more capable than the UNIVAC was, 59 years ago.

1985 – The first WrestleMania, the biggest wrestling event from the WWE, takes place in Madison Square Garden in New York. SHUDDER - The world series of 'fixed' sports.

holidays:
Tater Day - I think you are just supposed to eat today.

Oranges and Lemons Day - ditto

Pennsylvania Maple Festival - ditto

National Clams on the Half Shell Day - ditto

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thursday 1 april
***The Official NoButtonButton*************
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*** Nobody said anything on this day.
***
*** - Nobody
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birthdays:
Nobody was ever born on this day.

events:
Nothing ever happened this day.

holidays:
Random nothing day.

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friday 2 april
***The Official NoButtonButton*************
***
*** Marco
***
*** Polo
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birthdays:
1527 - Abraham Ortels was a Flemish cartographer and geographer, generally recognized as the creator of the first modern atlas. Why he didn't name it an 'Ortels' I will never know.

1814 - Erastus Brigham Bigelow - Big name and who is he? You ever hear of Bigelow Carpet. He invented the machine looms and then he started the company. You ever hear of Massachusetts Institute of Technology? He is a co-founder.

1945 - Linda Hunt, US actress of stage, screen and TV. She one an Oscar as best supporting actress in the movie 'Year of Living Dangerously'. The curious thing about that award (and the reason she got it) was she played a Chinese/Australian Man (and she has never been any of the three). That was the only Oscar ever awarded for a person playing the opposite gender and the only Oscar awarded for someone playing an Australian character. Linda is 4 feet 9 inches tall. Linda is currently a character on 'NCIS Los Angles'. She plays the boss of the local NCIS office and has a mysterious past. A very cute character, she is the main reason I watch the series.

events:
1755 - Commodore William James captures the pirate fortress of Suvarnadurg on west coast of India. Well the British called them pirates but I think I will call them the Maratha Empire Navy. They sort of took exception to the British taking over their land by force so they raided British Ships. Some people are so picky about whose boot is on their neck.

1962 - The first official PANDA crossing is opened outside Waterloo station, London. Why did the Brit cross the road? Well to get to the other side of course the real question is why are they having such a hard time of it. At first people just walked across the street when there was little or no traffic. Anarchy. Governments around the world just could not abide by that and set out to regulate... er... protect us against our will. The US came up with the cross walk and between that and a billion (seems like) jay walking tickets we all bought cars and nobody walks anymore. Case closed. Not in Britain.

They also came up with the cross walk but they had to give it a cute name. ZEBRA crossing. Now I am positive that there is very little call for Zebras to stroll the sidewalks of the UK but if they did they would find that there were no 'Don't Walk' signs at the ZEBRA crossings (not that Zebras are avid readers). It seems that due to British Right of Way laws and customs it was not allowed to put up 'Don't Walk' signs. Hmmm... Traffic is getting worse, but not everybody is buying a car so the street crossing problem is getting worse. Solution, another style of crossing and lets name it after another cute fuzzy animal, PANDA.

All PANDA crossings did was confuse and irritate people and in about six years they were gone only to be replaced by the PELICAN crossing. The official name is PELICON (short for PEdestrian LIght CONtrolled crossing)(nobody uses the official name). But wait that's not enough to cover all circumstance so let us add the PUFFIN crossing and if we have bicycles along with those pesky pedestrians we will add the TOUCAN crossing. What about horses you say? That's right all those horses charging all over the country side hunting fox so let us design a PEGASUS crossing for horse riders. Yes they are all real. BUY SOME CARS ALREADY!

holidays:
Green Day - Not the band.

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****joe722****